Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
