He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
