i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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