I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
