Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
