Taylor Swift is so right about you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
