This girl is more easily done than said...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
