I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
