remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
