We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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