I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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