my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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