your thong is hanging out like whoa
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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