At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
