I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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