Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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