whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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