Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize