A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
