I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
