I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The struggles of a small town man whore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
