he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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