i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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