Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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