Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
