areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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