How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
