In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
