I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
