god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
