i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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