Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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