Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
