I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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