You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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