theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
