im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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