Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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