if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there was a trapeze. enough said
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
