Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
