It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
