i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
