# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
wow bdsm is so cute
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
