Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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