Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
