first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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