Me too!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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