Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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