Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
