Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
