Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
