i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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