WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
