the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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