Dual....:-)
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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