so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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