If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
