When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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