you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
