All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
