i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
