He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
