He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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