maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
