is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
