you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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