More tranny stories later!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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